Relationships are hard. That is not an opinion, but a fact. And in order to make relationships work, both sides of the relationship must be willing to put in the effort to make things work.
I have been dating my girlfriend for a little over a year, and I’ll be the first one to tell you, everything isn’t sunshine and rainbows. We argue, bicker, and don’ always see eye to eye, but that doesn’t mean we aren’t great together. Being together in a perfect relationship is the desired goal in relationships, but similar to the goals I have discussed in past blogs, it takes a series of smaller goals to achieve the greater goal. And only through the little victories we achieve can we aspire to the overall goal; happiness.
The first of these small goals I have made for myself in my relationship is to never argue for the sake of arguing. I see couples do this all the time, and I myself am guilty every once in a while. All couples argue, but I have made a point not to argue just to “win.” Whether it is a big issue in my relationship or a small issue, if I do not take a minute to understand what the argument is really about, the argument will not lead anywhere. Even if someone “wins” the fight, neither of us will really be happy unless something productive comes for the argument.
And that leads to my second small goal; surprise her. One of the most important aspects of a relationship, in my mind, is to keep things exciting. I have found this difficult after over a year of dating, but I try my best to do the little things to make her happy when she least expects it. Whether this be something as simple as bringing her coffee or taking her out to dinner unexpected, I have found that showing effort goes a long way to keep things fresh.
The last small goal I set is a simple one, and that is to make her laugh. We have a countless number of inside jokes and the same humor, which makes this goal the least difficult of the three. But I have found that even in the most stressful of times, simply making her laugh can change her whole day.
Having a happy relationship is not something simple, and just wanting this goal will not get you there. But by following the steps I listed above, or even different small goals, they little victories add up to create the best relationship possible. If the concept of the little victories interests you, click the “Follow” button to the right to subscribe to my blog or follow me on twitter at @zacharypwalsh.